“Before the first date, I try to determine the following: Does he make me smile? Is he down to go for a walk? Will he get on the phone? After the first date, I ask myself: Is he curious? Does he like himself? Is he kind? It’s a little crazy, imperfect and, yes, judgmental. My systematic approach may well be weeding out someone who could make me my happiest self. But the leaving-it-up-to-fate alternative of relying on chemistry, physical attraction and serendipity hasn’t led me to that person either.”

#nytimes (2018)