Social Media Thoughts:

  1. She doesn’t look like that in real life.
  2. Brunch on a Tuesday? This makes no sense.
  3. Why do I follow her?
  4. I get it. You went running today.
  5. Okay seriously…does anybody else work during the day?
  6. That seems like a lot of effort.
  7. Aspen? Wasn’t he in Cabo like last weekend?
  8. They got a dog?
  9. Unfollow.
  10. Private profile? Are you kidding.
  11. …did I just request to follow her?
  12. Unrequest. Unrequest.
  13. You can tell Kendall isn’t even wearing makeup in this one.
  14. That crabcake actually looks really good. Where is that restaurant?
  15. Are you serious?
  16. I can’t tell if she’s pretty.
  17. No, she’s like really pretty.
  18. Guys shouldn’t even have Instagram.
  19. So you go out to dinner like…every night?
  20. I could definitely get a dog if I wanted one.
  21. Maybe I should move to LA.
  22. That filter makes her look plastic.
  23. Like.

@walkofshames @trophywifebarbie


“She wanted him. No matter what his past was, no matter what he had done. Which was not to say that she would ever let him know, but only that he moved her chemically more than anyone she had ever met, that all other men seemed pale beside him.” #fscottfitzgerald @walkofshames @maxaround #walkofshame



“Rapunzel: a fairy tale about a women who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.” #walkofshames @davidbedford @_thewickedpink

Rap lyrics that never were:

“I’ve slept with a moderate amount of women.” 

“Come to think of it, I’m not really an ass guy.”  

“I make a reasonable middle class salary.”       

“I bought my car for its 5 star safety rating.” 

“One chain is enough, thanks.” 



“Was leaving to the office this morning and my girl woke up, said I looked hot in a suit, then ripped it off and we just had amazing sex.” #walkofshames #yikyak